My Loving, Chaotic Life

*sigh*

Seriously? How can the year already be over? It seems like yesterday when I left Jack for his first day in his Kindergarten class and went to the "Boo-hoo Breakfast".

My baby is growing up too fast, and I'm ok with that. I'm not sad. Just a little in shock that the time is going so fast.

My Kindergarten Graduate


Jack with Neena & Papa


Prepping...


We're ready!

I don't think I've ever seen the boys so excited as this weekend! I took the boys to Six Flags Over Texas, and they loved it. LOVED it. Apparently, I have two adventure-seeking boys because they wanted to ride everything even if they weren't tall enough.

Jack told me at one point that he didn't care if the ride scared him because he was going to ride it anyway. Seriously? Jack?? I mean, I expect to hear those words out of Luke's mouth, but not Jack.

I remembered when I hit the west side of Fort Worth that I forgot my camera back at home. Therefore, I photographed our entire trip via cell phone. Woohoo!

We started the adventure at ELMER FUDD’S "America the Beautiful" Railway.





Next, we rode all the rides in Looney Tunes USA. It was a good start for the boys to work their way up to the bigger rides. Plus, it helped me get used to letting Jack ride by himself on some stuff while Luke and I were seated behind him. One of the first ride they rode by themselves was BUGS BUNNY’S Spirit of St. Louie.



We went on to the greatest ride for any child who loves cars: Chaparral Antique Cars





Ok, I have to admit that it brought back memories watching the boys drive the antique cars. It was a fun favorite ride when I was around Jack's age because I loved being behind the wheel.

Next, the mine cars. I'll admit that I really didn't want the boys to ride any rollercoaster type rides because I was afraid they would freak out and not want to ever come back. We started on the Mini Mine Train which they loved. LOVED. They wanted to go on it again until they saw The Runaway Mine Train.

Now, this was one of my favorite rides as a child. I remember Aunt Teri and I always going on this ride. It was fast, a bit jerky and had a cool drop into a tunnel that looked like you were plunging into water. My "mommy meter" said to wait. However, the boys wanted to do it, so we did...three times.



Now, we couldn't let this be the pinnacle. Jack cried because he couldn't go on any big rollercoasters because he was too short. Until we got to Judge Roy Scream. *sigh* Even Luke was tall enough for this coaster. *double sigh*

Sure about this, mom?


Again! Again!!


We would have gone again if the ride didn't break down right as we were entering the gate and caused us to be stuck for over 15 minutes.

As the day was wrapping up, we jumped on two more rides. The Texas Chute Out which the boys rode together. Yes, I stayed on the ground and watched a ride take my boys 200 feet in the air. The alternative was me going up with each boy and that didn't fly with me (pardon the pun).



Seriously, I cannot I let them do that twice. Then, we did the YOSEMITE SAM’S GOLD RIVER ADVENTURE™ two more times. Jack loved this ride, but Luke could definitely do without it. It was too loud for him.



What a day! The boys had a blast and were out as soon as they got buckled in the car. I wish I could have fallen asleep, too. It was exhausting having so much fun!

Growing up, I was constantly seen as a "goody-goody". I did what I was told to do. I didn't make waves with anyone. I have always been the reliable one. I'm the person that is given the responsibility because everyone knows I will get the job done.

These are fantastic qualities when done for the right reasons. What do I mean? I feel that what inspires me to be this kind of person is my desire to have everyone like me. I know that my underlying reasoning for being a "goody-goody" is so others will look at me and think favorably about me. I am so concerned with what others think that I'm willing to alter my personality to be perceived as something I'm not.

I've found in my 30 years of life that no matter hard I try I can't make everyone happy. Some people will talk about me in a negative way no matter what I do. I can be the best wife, mother, director, or writer that gives everything, and it won't matter to some people.

This bugged me at first. A lot. Like "anger with a few tears" bugged. Yes, actually tears. I know...shocking.

Then, I had this amazing revelation during my quiet time this week with a verse from Hebrews.

"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come." Hebrews 13:14

It amazes me how God can use one verse that short to change my outlook on things. My focus of this world had totally put me out of focus with what God sees in me. This worldly need of having everyone like me was absolutely ridiculous. God sees me for who I am. The kicker: He loves me just as I am.

He goes in and looks at my heart. He sees the good, the bad and the ugly. Yet, He still loves me and will always love me.

Will I still be a "goody-goody"? More than likely. However, it will be because that is what God desires me to be. From this moment, I am refusing to live my life to the standards of what others feel I should. My heart's desire is to do what God wants me to do. My focus is on His kingdom and not this temporary world.

Will people still talk negatively about me? Probably. Am I cool with that? Yep. Wanna know why? I've got God in my corner.

[B]ecause God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" Hebrews 13:5b-6

* It is 12:10 am, and I'm still awake.

* Everyone else in my house is sleeping.

* I went to a meeting last night, and no one showed up. I don't know if this means I'm just really on top of things or I missed an email stating we weren't having a meeting. I'll go with my first thought.

* I love taking millions of pictures then rarely post said pictures. I'm sure it is some lazy gene I have. I'm not sure where I got it from since everyone in my family is so stinkin' active. How did I get so lazy?

* I secretly love it when my boys run to me and specifically want me. There is nothing like hearing Luke say, "I want mommy. Hold you!"

* My perfect day would include my family, friends, a cookout, Rock Band, reading, laughing hysterically at silly stuff and a mani/pedi.

* I am so ready for summer. I can't wait to spend hours outside in the sun and taking the boys swimming. I'm also looking forward to going on several mini-trips.

* I love where I live. We have the coolest neighbors who are always wanting to be outside and hang out.

* I am super-social. I used to be a recluse, but I've been brought out of my shell and don't want to go back in.

* The boys are taking swim lessons with one of our favorite baby-sitters, and I know they are going to have a blast!

* Jack is going to a camp called "Lego Mania" this summer. He is totally freakin'. He can't wait.

* Luke is going to be jealous he doesn't get to go to the Lego camp until he realizes going to camp means no mommy. Then, he will be happy Jack is going so he can come home and play video games without anyone bossing him around.

* My favorite color is yellow even though I look hideous in yellow.

* I'm really sensitive to medicine. If I take one Tylenol PM, then I will be out for a good 8 hours.

* I have a passion for children's ministries. I love sharing God's Word with children and watching them grow closer to God.

* I have a tough exterior, but my heart breaks easily.

* I love listening to rock and alternative music really loud in Aaron's car.

* You can pretty much tell my mood by what is most popular on my...umm...Aaron's iPod.

* My oldest child actually exclaimed to me the second he walked into the house that he couldn't believe how clean the house looked. Hmm...perhaps I should start picking up more often?

* I don't like people who judge. Then, I remember there are times that I judge when I shouldn't, and we are all sinners who fall short. God has given us grace through His Son. Therefore, I should find that same kind of grace for others. It's hard, but I'm trying.

* I love my husband more than air. Although we can drive each other crazy and sometimes seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum, God reminds us exactly how perfect we are for each other.

* I love hearing songs that remind me of fun times...(Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world. She took the midnight train goin' anywhere)...

* I wish people could see my heart. I guess that would require me to bring down my defenses and soften up a bit. I would have to stop cracking jokes when I feel like crying. It would be hard to stop cracking jokes. It is my ultimate defense mechanism.

* I'm wondering how many more random ramblings I can have before 1 am.

* This is the funnest post ever. I recommend everyone do one. It is pretty relaxing to just type whatever pops up in your head. God bless stream of consciousness.

* Stream of consciousness writing aims to provide a textual equivalent to the stream of a fictional character’s consciousness. It creates the impression that the reader is eavesdropping on the flow of conscious experience in the character’s mind, gaining intimate access to their private “thoughts”. Thank you Literary Encyclopedia for that description.

* See? Not only is my blog fun but educational. You should use stream of consciousness sometime this week.

* And indubitably. Another good word of the day.

* One of my all-time favorite series, The Southern Vampire series, aka Sookie Stackhouse series (aka Sookie Sookie) actually reference a word of the day calendar in it. I wish I had one because I would so use it. If I could pronounce the word correctly. If not, then I would call up Shelley and ask her how to pronounce it. She may laugh at me, but she would totally help me out.

* Even though I wanted a little girl more than anything, I can't imagine my life without my two little boys. I am definitely a boys' momma through and through.

* Jack is so smart when it comes to figuring stuff out. He can figure out just about any video game, and his mind works in a way that is way beyond his years. Perhaps, he has "the knack".

* It frightens me how much Jack is like Aaron.

* Luke is brilliant in a completely different way than Jack. He knows how to work the system. He uses his body language and words to get exactly what he wants. This works with several people. Unfortunate for him, his mommy and daddy are in on his game.

* It frightens me how much Luke is like me.